Bless your kind soul, my friend

There’s something absolutely terrifying about seeing men cry. You don’t realise how much you have lost until you see men, strong men, unable to hold back their tears. It’s only then you grasp the gravity of the situation. I thought I had already accepted my loss, but indeed, I was still in denial. I thought I’d snap out of this nightmare at any time, I tried to keep myself busy so as to not give it more thought. I had mistaken denial for acceptance.

It wasn’t until the funeral when it was clear to me, my friend had left me forever. The facade was over, I couldn’t hold back my tears. Seeing a father mourn his son has to be the most brutal scene in life. You see this man, who you expect to be prudent cry, and it breaks your heart. You wish you could comfort him but you know there’s nothing that’d bring his son back, and it dawn on you, you’ll never see your friend again either.

Kareem and I never planned when to meet, we’d just bump into each other and talk for hours. It’s like our friendship was destined. When someone you love leaves you, you wish you had never known them because it’s morose when people leave abruptly. I know our friendship was never planned, we were just destined to know each other. I don’t know if this is god’s punishment for me, having to see the most pure soul I had ever known leave me, so suddenly.

His voice still plays in my head from time to time, he sounds like he always did, like he is on the verge of laughter. It hurts me that I’m constantly reminded I’ll not be able see him again, but I wish I’d never forget his voice, and his voice would never leave my mind even though it pains me.

We’ll never forget your kind soul, Kareem.

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